|
Preventing and Healing Pre- and Perinatal Shock and Trauma .. 
. .. ..X There is overwhelming evidence and research that many standard practices of the medical community are not as good for babies and mothers as more traditional midwifery-based practices. Just read anything by Marshall and Phyllis Klaus, Suzanne Arms, Ina May Gaskin or Robbie Davis-Floyd!! I don't know if the medical establishment and consumers will ever open to and change based on this midwifery model. I hope so; and I realize that even if it happens, it might not be in my lifetime. However, the challenge here is not within the medical establishment, it is the management of our own energy and feelings. We are part of a minority - as are anti-nuclear activists, environmentalists, animal rights people, etc. We have views, knowledge, aide, priorities and more to offer that will make a HUGE improvement in the world - if they are accepted. Unfortunately, accepting what we have to offer requires "the establishment" to give up a lot - their familiarity, confidence, comfort, traditions, history, etc. .. We can not avoid responsibility for the circumstances against which we struggle because as members of this society we are also partially to blame. This country is lawsuit-crazy! As any corporate or consumer attorney knows, it is exceedingly difficult for anyone to make improvements in a product or service because it invites lawsuits from all the consumers that got the pre-improvement product or service. .. As with workers in any "cause," we are called to spread our word - but practicality requires that we do it in a way that does not burn us out, but burns a path forward. This is, of course, easier said than done - I realize that. I speak with NO judgment of anyone who is burned out, discouraged or upset - but with great compassion for the harshness of your experiences and with great hope that there IS a way to survive and continue to share our services and advance our cause. .. Survival Skills ..
Detachment
.. Staying detached might be easier if we realize that in spite of the parents' and birthworkers' intentions for a birth to be easy, at home, intervention-free, etc. - babies come in with their own agendas, their own unfinished business to address, and sometimes they have different ideas. So, it is harder to think things went "wrong" when we factor in the needs and preferences of the baby. When we focus on the overall tone of what we want and less on the specifics of how that is accomplished, we are more likely to create the circumstances we want. ..
Focus on Service
.. We must remember that we are "in service of life" (a phrase I borrowed from Mary Ceallaigh in LA) and must focus on the good we can do, not the good we can't do, or the harm we can't prevent. Of course, our containment (a major therapeutic technique!) of the truth of what's happening can be a calming and grounding influence (even a lifeline) and, I believe, a good reason to attend "horrible" births even if we do nothing else. ..
It's Almost Always Fixable
.. A vital fact for all birthworkers to remember is that any psychological or emotional "harm" done to the parents and baby in the process of conception, prenatal development and birth (and afterwards) can be repaired! There are powerful and effective ways to work with newborns (and parents, of course) to reverse the effects of all the horrors we see occurring. Even some of the physical harm that occurs can be resolved or ameliorated - and the earlier the better!! (Of course, I know that some kinds of damage can be permanent.) ..
Lover the Doer, Hate the Deed
.. I believe it is an important spiritual discipline as well as key to our success to hold medical personnel in our hearts with compassion. They are not the "enemy." None of them are trying to hurt anyone - but they are driven more by their training and emotional patterns (see the next item!) than the facts, and there are a million other factors that reduce their receptivity to our message. We must make inroads with these people and it will be done with research (not our focus here, though) and one-to-one contact, with compassion and facts and good role modeling and real, heart-full contact. So, we must find a way to love the doer while hating the deed. ..
Deal With Our Own Wounds
.. Most importantly, we must recognize that our own unresolved prenatal and birth trauma/shock WILL be activated in the work we do - and it is our responsibility to work with it and at least identify and learn to manage it. Ideally, we will have the resources and support to work with it directly and resolved it - but we MUST at least develop the ability to contain our own unresolved "stuff" so that it does not affect our work and the families we serve. (Again, easier said than done - but still necessary.) ..
Get Support
.. Most birthworkers hold birth in such a sacred way and aim so intently on helping create a calm, easy, intervention-free, empowered birth that I think they neglect to plan for the (more common) reality. Birth is often a chaotic, painful, emotionally distressing and disempowering event. Many birthworkers leave a birth battle-shocked, emotionally weary, highly stressed and feeling defeated. We must take this into account and take care of ourselves and each other accordingly. Birthworkers need lots of support if they are to remain on these "front lines" of service - especially if that service is in settings that are non-receptive , dismissive or even hostile to our beliefs and practices. .. Services for Birthworkers - Education, Support and Therapy .. It is clear to me as I travel around to teach that there is a severe lack of people to support birthworkers to deal with the realities of the birthing industry - and it is my mission to provide that support and foster better births for everyone. I do this in several ways, described below. ..
Education - Trainings and Workshops
.. In my training classes and workshops I share useful and important information about the common long-term effects of babies' experiences around conception, during prenatal development, during birth and afterward. I also cover concrete ways to help prevent prenatal and birth trauma, ways that birthworkers can help babies resolve their trauma, and ways birthworkers can coach and assist parents to help their babies. This information is exciting and, in some cases, startling. There is a LOT to share about these exciting subjects and many birthworkers who attend introductory talks are drawn to learn more. This information can be cut-and-pasted into any format and any time span. .. I've got a great introduction training available on audiotape for $23 plus postage. Check out this page for information. .. Interesting in bringing me to your city? Check out this page: "Sponsor a Talk, Workshop or Training." ..
Support
.. I provide in-person and phone consultation for birthworkers seeking to integrate the workshop material into their practices. I also facilitate groups for birthworkers, offering an opportunity to share "war stories;" release some of our frustrations, rage and pain; and receive support and caring. One-time support groups are usually a day-long or two-day event; some groups meet for a few hours one evening a week (usually for 6 weeks). Ideally, every birthworker would receive regular (weekly, monthly, etc) support for the on-going stresses inherent in the job! .. Terry has a gift. She creates a holistic framework of facts and information to support what we as birthworkers and parents have known all along. She weaves together the intuitive and the practical, deepening our understanding and empathy for the babies and parents we care for.
Therapy
.. So much of our own unresolved prenatal and birth issues get activated while attending births, and there are not many settings in which to do our personal work around that. I offer individual therapy sessions and experiential process workshops (usually 2-5 days long) for going inside to explore how our own early experiences still affect us. Working directly with our own birth and prenatal experiences opens a door to new levels of strength, empathy, compassion and love - all qualities that we bring to our work and enrich the services we offer to babies and families. ..
NOTE: Use of this website
or email correspondence
|